The following are testimonies from various members and attenders at Wanstead Meeting collected during February and March 1999.
It is often said that the first time in a Quaker meeting feels like coming home. For me there was an immense feeling of relief, as though I had at last found what I had been looking for, for most of my life. I had found a group of people and a place where I could work it out for myself and have a direct relationship with whatever it is that bears the label God, and not be told what to think.
My spiritual journey took me from a traditionally Christian upbringing, through scepticism and agnosticism, back to a search for a religious community where I could feel at home.
I was attracted to Quakers, because of their social and political stance and in their non-dogmatic beliefs, but I was very dubious about a form of worship which consisted of sitting in silence unless a member of the company was moved to speak. I wanted hymns and a sermon and some kind of structure, so it was some time before I came to my first meeting.
Since then I have found more and more that I need the silence, and that I appreciate Quaker ministry, offered with time to reflect and respond, and without dogmatic insistence, or even expectation of agreement.
I feel part of a community whose values I share, and whose history I am more and more beginning to appreciate.
So why not become a member of the society? There is certainly an element of caution: fear of commitment, fear of responsibilities, fear of making (another) mistake. But I am also appreciating the feeling that I can take my time, that I need not make a decision but can wait for the time to be right. Or not.
After a while as a regular attender and occasional minister I found myself describing myself as a Quaker. Realisation of this took a while to sink in but when it did, I knew I was ready to apply for membership. Joining the Society of Friends was a public and private statement that my spiritual journey had truly entered the meeting and I knew where I belong.
I had always known about Quakers, both my Father and his sister were Friends. My Mother was Catholic and I was brought up in that faith. From the age of 15 to my mid 30’s I did not attend church and was not really religious. In the late 1980’s I began to think about religion and especially the Quakers. In early 1992 I was on holiday at Jordens Youth Hostel which is in the meeting house grounds. I went to meeting for worship and knew immediately that it was the right place for me. I felt at home.
I enjoy the challenge of being a Quaker. Having to think for yourself, the lack of dogma and formal ritual, although this can be hard work at times as you lack the comfort of formal services.
The broad range of beliefs is invigorating and sometimes startling. We are all on a spiritual journey, sometimes alone, sometimes travelling together.
At the heart of being a Friend is meeting for worship - waiting in the silence. At times an hour of individual scattered thoughts trying to centre down (settle) and only succeeding for fleeting moments. At times reaching deep down into the silence, linking together to form a gathered meeting and all being one with God. A most incredible experience.
I went to my first Quaker meeting with a woman I was very much in love with. I remember being surprised when she told me she was a Quaker because I could not imagine anyone I liked and respected admitting to being a Christian. I saw myself as an atheist back then.
Over the next ten years I continued to go periodically but somewhat furtively, because it clashed with my perception of myself as a free spirit who had escaped from the meaninglessness of the established church. Somehow Meeting for Worship spoke to my spirit and drew me back in spite of myself. I felt at home there.
At some point I was asked why I didn’t think of joining the society and I replied that I had never joined anything in my life. The Friend laughed and responded: we are a society of non-joiners.
I decided to commit myself for the first time the day the Gulf war began, because of my revulsion at war as a means of resolving conflict. So I applied for membership and was accepted.
I was amazed at what a difference it made to me being a Friend as opposed to an attender. I came out as a spiritual person. I found myself needing to name myself as Quaker when I met someone for the first time, since it was an important part of who I was becoming. I found my voice as I began to live my faith. Eventually it gave me the courage to come out as a lesbian during Meeting for Worship. It felt very important for me to speak my truth amongst Friends. I was incredibly touched by the loving response I received as people came up after meeting to thank me for my ministry.
Last year I joined other members of the Quakers Women’s group at Friends Meeting House in Birmingham to take part in the Jubilee 2000 protest at the third world debt. As I sat with a large and motley crowd of eccentrically dressed individuals in the meeting house garden, I looked around at this group of unassuming dignified and jolly people and a great surge of love welled up in me for them. I was home and no one was missing.